What is with me at the moment? I am getting quite a lot of 'life moments' whilst watching my boys play ice hockey. There is something about the discipline, communication and hard work which I believe is a healthy life lesson.
Here is another one.
A hockey team consists of 15 players or more, plus two netminders. These players are typically divided into three 'lines'. These lines normally work together as a team in their own right. Sometimes whole lines are 'swapped' in a match and sometimes individuals are swapped to try and match up opponent players. You probably get the picture - your first line plays against their first line, your second against their second, and so on. These are called 'shifts'.
However, sometimes this gets mixed up. Teams try and out-fox their opponents by swapping players randomly, or pulling a player off and then putting them back on almost immediately. It keeps the opposition guessing.
When you play hockey, you need a strong mental attitude. Why? Because you could be 'swapped' on and a few seconds later, you could be 'swapped' off again.
It could be quite disheartening being swapped almost immediately, which is why players are taught to always think about 'the next shift'. No matter how long the last shift was or what happened in it, you always put your mind to the next shift. You might have scored. You might have been caught offside and thus stopped the game and been swapped. It doesn't matter. You always get yourself ready to 'go again' and play hard.
In the Bible, one of my favourite Authors (Paul) talks about "forgetting what is behind and pressing on towards the goal". I like to think that life experiences and life-seasons are like 'shifts'. They could be very short or long, but what is important is that we press on. We look forward. We take the experience and things learnt from the last shift into the new one.
Whatever your walk is at the moment, why not take time to think about the next 'shift' and not the one you have just been in.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, December 04, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Man Of The Match
Over the last weekend, both of our boys played hockey (ice) on different days in different towns. One of them won MOTM and one didn’t. Both worked equally hard and one probably worked a bit harder than the other one. Who do you think won MOTM?
Actually, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they did their best and that their Dad – that would be me – was hugely proud of them.
I have been reading book-snippets recently that have been through the eyes of grown men reflecting on the times their Dad came to see them play their favourite sport. All of them write about how they sometimes won awards, sometimes played badly, sometimes messed up and sometimes felt like the best player on the planet.
Each of them also writes about how their Dad was always there for them.
Always cheering them on.
Always the loudest.
Always proud.
Always.
What really struck me was how the love and pride of their Dad – no matter what the outcome - struck a deep, resonate chord with them in later life. MOTM awards come and go. Accolades come and go. Fitness, skill and desire come and go. The most important thing by far was the fact their Dad was ‘there’ for them. Maybe not always physically, but ever present.
The cheers from the previous match still echoed in the next game. The understated, humble congratulation after winning MOTM still ran deep. The hugs and tears and fish & chips after working really hard but losing still brought comfort and confidence. In later life, each and everyone one of those men valued the love and pride of their Dad far more than any award or outcome.
I want to be one of those Dads. I want to be the Dad that is always there, whether that be physically or in their hearts. In life, awards will come and go; accolades will come and go; challenges will come and go. They might win MOTM ten games in a row. What is important is that I am still proud of them when they don’t win it in the eleventh game.
When my sons are grown men, no matter what happens in life, the echoes of my love and pride will still be what they hear in the air.
Actually, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they did their best and that their Dad – that would be me – was hugely proud of them.
I have been reading book-snippets recently that have been through the eyes of grown men reflecting on the times their Dad came to see them play their favourite sport. All of them write about how they sometimes won awards, sometimes played badly, sometimes messed up and sometimes felt like the best player on the planet.
Each of them also writes about how their Dad was always there for them.
Always cheering them on.
Always the loudest.
Always proud.
Always.
What really struck me was how the love and pride of their Dad – no matter what the outcome - struck a deep, resonate chord with them in later life. MOTM awards come and go. Accolades come and go. Fitness, skill and desire come and go. The most important thing by far was the fact their Dad was ‘there’ for them. Maybe not always physically, but ever present.
The cheers from the previous match still echoed in the next game. The understated, humble congratulation after winning MOTM still ran deep. The hugs and tears and fish & chips after working really hard but losing still brought comfort and confidence. In later life, each and everyone one of those men valued the love and pride of their Dad far more than any award or outcome.
I want to be one of those Dads. I want to be the Dad that is always there, whether that be physically or in their hearts. In life, awards will come and go; accolades will come and go; challenges will come and go. They might win MOTM ten games in a row. What is important is that I am still proud of them when they don’t win it in the eleventh game.
When my sons are grown men, no matter what happens in life, the echoes of my love and pride will still be what they hear in the air.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Learning To Let Go
As some of you will know, my two boys place hockey. Not of the field type, but on ice and on courts (roller). They love it and are doing really well at it.
Our eldest son started at secondary school this term and as part of that process, my wife and I needed to let go a little more. We needed to let him find his own way to school (once we had shown him how to get there, by the way). We needed to let him decide on his own after-school clubs. His own dinners. His own time-planning for being somewhere at the right time. All of it involved letting go just a little bit more.
I have recently been asked to sit in on a couple of meetings with his hockey coaches. He has one for ice, and one for roller. Both of the conversations were really encouraging. I was proud of what they had to say and of my son's response. But as I sat their in silence, I felt like I was letting go a little bit more.... again. As a Dad, I chat with my kids all of the time, particularly about things on their heart, and there he was talking to someone else about how he felt.
As the coaches inputted into him and gave him advice, I found myself thinking, "Hang on, I should be saying those things, not them". I then had to check myself (excuse the pun for any hockey friends). This was about letting go. This was about dropping my pride.
There are people now inputting him him who know far more about a given subject matter than I do. He is learning from them and applying what they say. Sometimes, I will see them chatting with him and giving him instructions which he then discusses with them and applies. When I ask him what was said, he just says "Nothing. It's not important".
And he's right.... it's not. Why is it important to me? I know a bit about hockey, but not as much as he does. What is important is that I let go. Slowly but surely, carefully and with sensitivity. But that doesn't mean I lose him. Far from it. It means I get a son in whom I am proud and with whom I am 'well pleased'.
If I let go I get something better back. I love him and will always be there for him (and my other son), but as he grows older and becomes his own man, I have to trust that he makes the right choices. I have to trust that he listens to his coaches, whether in sport or life, and applies what they have said.
I have to learn to let go.
Our eldest son started at secondary school this term and as part of that process, my wife and I needed to let go a little more. We needed to let him find his own way to school (once we had shown him how to get there, by the way). We needed to let him decide on his own after-school clubs. His own dinners. His own time-planning for being somewhere at the right time. All of it involved letting go just a little bit more.
I have recently been asked to sit in on a couple of meetings with his hockey coaches. He has one for ice, and one for roller. Both of the conversations were really encouraging. I was proud of what they had to say and of my son's response. But as I sat their in silence, I felt like I was letting go a little bit more.... again. As a Dad, I chat with my kids all of the time, particularly about things on their heart, and there he was talking to someone else about how he felt.
As the coaches inputted into him and gave him advice, I found myself thinking, "Hang on, I should be saying those things, not them". I then had to check myself (excuse the pun for any hockey friends). This was about letting go. This was about dropping my pride.
There are people now inputting him him who know far more about a given subject matter than I do. He is learning from them and applying what they say. Sometimes, I will see them chatting with him and giving him instructions which he then discusses with them and applies. When I ask him what was said, he just says "Nothing. It's not important".
And he's right.... it's not. Why is it important to me? I know a bit about hockey, but not as much as he does. What is important is that I let go. Slowly but surely, carefully and with sensitivity. But that doesn't mean I lose him. Far from it. It means I get a son in whom I am proud and with whom I am 'well pleased'.
If I let go I get something better back. I love him and will always be there for him (and my other son), but as he grows older and becomes his own man, I have to trust that he makes the right choices. I have to trust that he listens to his coaches, whether in sport or life, and applies what they have said.
I have to learn to let go.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Leaves and Trees
Oh dear. Would appear I have not been very good at writing in recent weeks. My thoughts and efforts have been elsewhere. We have sold our house, found a new one and are waiting for news on when we might move. The whole thing took under two weeks - from our decision to sell, to selling, to finding and to offering. It's been an amazing journey and we are excited about all the future holds.
My wife, being the amazing women she is, walked into our new house and said "Christmas tree is there; piano is there; sofa is there". What struck me was the way she said "is" and not "would". She walked into each room and saw our life. She saw how it was going to be, not what it might be like. She didn't see the potential, she saw the actual. We fell in love with the house straight away and are looking forward to making it home.
Anyway, enough about that. Leaves and trees. "What is that about?" you might ask. A good question. I was walking the dog the other day and admiring how beautiful the trees looked. Autumn colours have always melted my heart and left me 'fire staring' - just mesmerised by the beauty, texture and colours.
The following day was exceptionally windy. The dog and I went on the same walk and many of the leaves had been blown off and swept away. Overnight, in a moment, the beauty of the colours had been replaced by exposed branches and bear trees. As I looked at the trees, I found myself thinking about pruning. Any good gardener will tell you that it is important to prune out of season. It is an essential process that allows for new birth in the next season and ensures the trees and plants can continue to flourish.
I was thinking about the last few months and how many things in my life have been stripped away. I have been through a pruning process where the old things in my life - mindsets, luggage, baggage, work, etc. - have been blown away by the winds of life and the Spirit and left me pretty bear and stark.
But then I found myself being thankful and rejoicing. By allowing the baggage and old things in life to be blown away, it prepares me for the next season. It ensures I am ready to grow new things. I am ready to yield even better fruit.
The next time there is a really windy day, why not go for a walk. Watch the leaves be blown from the trees and swept away. Think about the things in your life which are still attached to you that are preventing new growth in a new season and allow them to be swept away.
Pruning is a good and necessary exercise. There is a great verse in the Bible about how pruning only comes when a tree has born fruit. If something doesn't bear fruit, the branches are cut off. Pruning is the preparation of a new season but a season in itself. It comes because something has been fruitful - something has gone well. But it can bear even more fruit. Go through the pruning process and it will do you good.
My wife, being the amazing women she is, walked into our new house and said "Christmas tree is there; piano is there; sofa is there". What struck me was the way she said "is" and not "would". She walked into each room and saw our life. She saw how it was going to be, not what it might be like. She didn't see the potential, she saw the actual. We fell in love with the house straight away and are looking forward to making it home.
Anyway, enough about that. Leaves and trees. "What is that about?" you might ask. A good question. I was walking the dog the other day and admiring how beautiful the trees looked. Autumn colours have always melted my heart and left me 'fire staring' - just mesmerised by the beauty, texture and colours.
The following day was exceptionally windy. The dog and I went on the same walk and many of the leaves had been blown off and swept away. Overnight, in a moment, the beauty of the colours had been replaced by exposed branches and bear trees. As I looked at the trees, I found myself thinking about pruning. Any good gardener will tell you that it is important to prune out of season. It is an essential process that allows for new birth in the next season and ensures the trees and plants can continue to flourish.
I was thinking about the last few months and how many things in my life have been stripped away. I have been through a pruning process where the old things in my life - mindsets, luggage, baggage, work, etc. - have been blown away by the winds of life and the Spirit and left me pretty bear and stark.
But then I found myself being thankful and rejoicing. By allowing the baggage and old things in life to be blown away, it prepares me for the next season. It ensures I am ready to grow new things. I am ready to yield even better fruit.
The next time there is a really windy day, why not go for a walk. Watch the leaves be blown from the trees and swept away. Think about the things in your life which are still attached to you that are preventing new growth in a new season and allow them to be swept away.
Pruning is a good and necessary exercise. There is a great verse in the Bible about how pruning only comes when a tree has born fruit. If something doesn't bear fruit, the branches are cut off. Pruning is the preparation of a new season but a season in itself. It comes because something has been fruitful - something has gone well. But it can bear even more fruit. Go through the pruning process and it will do you good.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
The Start of a Whole New Adventure
It's been a couple of weeks since I last blogged. If you have been checking in regularly, my apologise for the lack of information. Alot of my creative thinking and general typing has been invested in (mainly) work.
After about four months of being in the wilderness, I feel like I am strolling in the meadows of a lush landscape. There is some provision to get the journey started, but as I said in my last post, the best is yet to come and I am looking forward to seeing the real fruits of this land my family and I are now in.
The other thing that has happened since I last blogged is that my wife and I feel it is time to sell our house and move on..... down. Six years ago, we moved into a very large house in our hometown and started to serve the Church family by being a Mum & Dad and Brother & Sister to people who needed a home. During that time, thirteen different people lived with us from various walks of life and for varying periods of time.
Many people have asked us how we have done it; how we have 'coped' on a day-to-day basis. There is a grace. It has been a privilege and honour to serve people and love them, but their is a grace for it. Some people have the grace to feed the homeless every night; some people have the grace to raise two/three/four children alone; some have the grace to work as teachers or doctors and put in long hours. We had the grace to do what we did, but now it has gone. That is not a bad thing, but when the grace to do something has gone (the unshakeable willingness to give of yourself without hesitation of question), it is time to consider the future.
For some time now we have been talking about whether our time was up. Whether our season had come to an end and whether it was time to move into something smaller and focus on our own children. In the last ten days, that has been confirmed again and again - it is time to focus on the core family so that their future is secure. Don't get me wrong - there is absolutely nothing wrong with our family life or our friendships. Quite the opposite. But that is partly why we want to focus on just the four of us.... to ensure that the future is better than the past.
We have started the process of getting the house valued. That has been fun. It is amazing how one estate agent can value the house at one price and another be different by as much as 20%. I am sure that by the time they have all reviewed and estimated, we will have some idea of its true value.
My wife saw a friend today who was really excited for us. "The start of a whole new adventure", she said. And she's right - it is. The best is (still) yet to come and we are starting on a whole new adventure. Life should be like that.... it should be one big adventure to be enjoyed. Our adventure is now going to be with our children and then our wider Church family.
Whether you are thinking of moving house, moving jobs, moving the furniture or simply changing your view on life, I hope you enjoy "the whole new adventure" that awaits you. There will be a grace for it.
After about four months of being in the wilderness, I feel like I am strolling in the meadows of a lush landscape. There is some provision to get the journey started, but as I said in my last post, the best is yet to come and I am looking forward to seeing the real fruits of this land my family and I are now in.
The other thing that has happened since I last blogged is that my wife and I feel it is time to sell our house and move on..... down. Six years ago, we moved into a very large house in our hometown and started to serve the Church family by being a Mum & Dad and Brother & Sister to people who needed a home. During that time, thirteen different people lived with us from various walks of life and for varying periods of time.
Many people have asked us how we have done it; how we have 'coped' on a day-to-day basis. There is a grace. It has been a privilege and honour to serve people and love them, but their is a grace for it. Some people have the grace to feed the homeless every night; some people have the grace to raise two/three/four children alone; some have the grace to work as teachers or doctors and put in long hours. We had the grace to do what we did, but now it has gone. That is not a bad thing, but when the grace to do something has gone (the unshakeable willingness to give of yourself without hesitation of question), it is time to consider the future.
For some time now we have been talking about whether our time was up. Whether our season had come to an end and whether it was time to move into something smaller and focus on our own children. In the last ten days, that has been confirmed again and again - it is time to focus on the core family so that their future is secure. Don't get me wrong - there is absolutely nothing wrong with our family life or our friendships. Quite the opposite. But that is partly why we want to focus on just the four of us.... to ensure that the future is better than the past.
We have started the process of getting the house valued. That has been fun. It is amazing how one estate agent can value the house at one price and another be different by as much as 20%. I am sure that by the time they have all reviewed and estimated, we will have some idea of its true value.
My wife saw a friend today who was really excited for us. "The start of a whole new adventure", she said. And she's right - it is. The best is (still) yet to come and we are starting on a whole new adventure. Life should be like that.... it should be one big adventure to be enjoyed. Our adventure is now going to be with our children and then our wider Church family.
Whether you are thinking of moving house, moving jobs, moving the furniture or simply changing your view on life, I hope you enjoy "the whole new adventure" that awaits you. There will be a grace for it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Best Is Yet To Come
What if I told you the best is yet to come? What if I told you that whatever is in front of you can be better than what was behind you, no matter how good or bad? You probably wouldn't believe me.
I was at my son's hockey practice today. I had been thinking all day about 'the best is yet to come'. Surely, the best is yet to come.
I have felt quite sad today. Quite down. Just because of circumstances. In the eyes of the world and all that it says to me, I am in a dire situation. There is not much work around and there doesn't appear to be anything going on. But what if I see something different?
The boys played a game at the weekend and one of coaches said, "You know, the best is yet to come". Hearing these words confirmed to me that whatever happened in the last game or yesterday in life, it doesn't matter. What matters is the next game. What matters is tomorrow.
What if I choose to believe that the best is yet to come? It means that tomorrow is going to be better than today. It means more work opportunities. Deeper friendships. Better marriages (I already have a fantastic marriage, in case you are wondering). Stronger family ties. Even if I had all of these things today, tomorrow is going to be better.
In the bible, there is an amazing man called Paul. He wrote some incredible life-giving words of guidance and re-assurance. One of them was "I choose to press on towards the goal of life.... not death" (my paraphrasing).
Tomorrow, when you wake and start the day, choose to press on towards something better. If you do this, I know the best is in store for you.
The best is yet to come......
I was at my son's hockey practice today. I had been thinking all day about 'the best is yet to come'. Surely, the best is yet to come.
I have felt quite sad today. Quite down. Just because of circumstances. In the eyes of the world and all that it says to me, I am in a dire situation. There is not much work around and there doesn't appear to be anything going on. But what if I see something different?
The boys played a game at the weekend and one of coaches said, "You know, the best is yet to come". Hearing these words confirmed to me that whatever happened in the last game or yesterday in life, it doesn't matter. What matters is the next game. What matters is tomorrow.
What if I choose to believe that the best is yet to come? It means that tomorrow is going to be better than today. It means more work opportunities. Deeper friendships. Better marriages (I already have a fantastic marriage, in case you are wondering). Stronger family ties. Even if I had all of these things today, tomorrow is going to be better.
In the bible, there is an amazing man called Paul. He wrote some incredible life-giving words of guidance and re-assurance. One of them was "I choose to press on towards the goal of life.... not death" (my paraphrasing).
Tomorrow, when you wake and start the day, choose to press on towards something better. If you do this, I know the best is in store for you.
The best is yet to come......
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Just Stand
Stand.
Just stand.
When you have done everything you can, just stand. Don't sit down. Don't relax. Don't give up. Don't give in. Just stand.
One of the dictionary definitions of 'stand' is as follows: to take a position or place as indicated: to stand aside; to remain firm or steadfast, as in a cause. To take a position....to remain firm and steadfast.
When we 'make a stand', we are displaying our willingness to cooperate with something bigger than ourselves. We are showing everything that tries to come against us that we will not give in. We will not roll over and die. We will not give up. We will remain steadfast.
When we stand, we are telling our own soul.... our spirit.... that we are overcomers. We are telling ourselves that we are winners, not losers. We are telling the world that no matter what the circumstances look like, we will not be defeated.
We (my wife and I) are in a place right now where we just need to stand. We have done everything else we can.... we have been as wise, prudent, careful and honest as we can be and now there is nothing left to do but stand. To remain steadfast.
We are standing in agreement. We are standing in truth. We are standing in unity. We will not be defeated and we will overcome.
Maybe there is a situation in your life where you have done absolutely everything you can.... now is the time to just stand. Now it's time to let go of everything and stand and remain firm, even though the daily storms batter you.
Just stand.
When you have done everything you can, just stand. Don't sit down. Don't relax. Don't give up. Don't give in. Just stand.
One of the dictionary definitions of 'stand' is as follows: to take a position or place as indicated: to stand aside; to remain firm or steadfast, as in a cause. To take a position....to remain firm and steadfast.
When we 'make a stand', we are displaying our willingness to cooperate with something bigger than ourselves. We are showing everything that tries to come against us that we will not give in. We will not roll over and die. We will not give up. We will remain steadfast.
When we stand, we are telling our own soul.... our spirit.... that we are overcomers. We are telling ourselves that we are winners, not losers. We are telling the world that no matter what the circumstances look like, we will not be defeated.
We (my wife and I) are in a place right now where we just need to stand. We have done everything else we can.... we have been as wise, prudent, careful and honest as we can be and now there is nothing left to do but stand. To remain steadfast.
We are standing in agreement. We are standing in truth. We are standing in unity. We will not be defeated and we will overcome.
Maybe there is a situation in your life where you have done absolutely everything you can.... now is the time to just stand. Now it's time to let go of everything and stand and remain firm, even though the daily storms batter you.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Resurrection Day....
Every day is a resurrection day. What does that mean? Put simply, it means that if we want to, we can make bring things back to life which we thought were gone forever.
Perhaps you are in a dying marriage. Today can be a resurrection day.
Perhaps your business is failing. Today can be a resurrection day.
Perhaps you have not been well for while and are sick of being sick. Today can be a resurrection day.
They can happen every single day, and it can start with the words on our lips. I can either choose to say "It isn't going to work anymore" or "this thing I am involved in is a success and the best is yet to come". We can say "I hate who I am" or we can say "I am someone who overcomes obstacles in my life".
I follow Jesus. Not just his teachings or his words, but the man himself. He knew how to say the right thing. "Get up and walk" to the man who couldn't; "See!" to the man who couldn't; "Arise!" to the man everyone thought was dead. Simple yet live-giving-overcoming words from his mouth.
Jesus saw something different and spoke differently. When all around him were under the cosh or told him something wasn't possible, he rose above it and used His words to resurrect things that appeared dead. His words carried life.
Life. There's a good word. Used every day, in and out of conversation. What does it mean? It might seem like a silly thing to say, but it is the opposite of death. It is what we should be doing every day - living. It means we are living, breathing, functioning.... we're not dead, that's for sure.
Today is a resurrection day. If you have something in your life that looks like it is dying or dead, speak to it and raise it up..... you will be amazed at what might happen.
Perhaps you are in a dying marriage. Today can be a resurrection day.
Perhaps your business is failing. Today can be a resurrection day.
Perhaps you have not been well for while and are sick of being sick. Today can be a resurrection day.
They can happen every single day, and it can start with the words on our lips. I can either choose to say "It isn't going to work anymore" or "this thing I am involved in is a success and the best is yet to come". We can say "I hate who I am" or we can say "I am someone who overcomes obstacles in my life".
I follow Jesus. Not just his teachings or his words, but the man himself. He knew how to say the right thing. "Get up and walk" to the man who couldn't; "See!" to the man who couldn't; "Arise!" to the man everyone thought was dead. Simple yet live-giving-overcoming words from his mouth.
Jesus saw something different and spoke differently. When all around him were under the cosh or told him something wasn't possible, he rose above it and used His words to resurrect things that appeared dead. His words carried life.
Life. There's a good word. Used every day, in and out of conversation. What does it mean? It might seem like a silly thing to say, but it is the opposite of death. It is what we should be doing every day - living. It means we are living, breathing, functioning.... we're not dead, that's for sure.
Today is a resurrection day. If you have something in your life that looks like it is dying or dead, speak to it and raise it up..... you will be amazed at what might happen.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Taking Sides....
If there is one thing I dislike in life... apart from bannans.... it is when people take sides. When people form a political view or opinion which means that they know better than other people. We all do it. I do it. But the question I have is this: are we concious we are doing it? Are we aware that any anger in us is rising up and taking hold of us?
I once experienced something that serves as a reminder of how important it is to make sure I don't take sides in life. I witnessed a heated discussion between two parents at a sports match. In fact, it wasn't even at a match, but at training. They were talking about the techniques that were being used by the coaches.
One of the parents believed the coaching was really good, the other did not. This resulted in a heated discussion which eventually lead to them sitting in different places in the park and not really talking. They still don't talk very much and have now formed their own group of friends who agree with their opinion. They are angry and they have taken sides.
The kids are having a great time in training and in games whilst the parents argue over something. Why? How can something be of such gravitas that it causes two people who used to get on to argue? Pride. An opinion was formed and when someone else contradicted this opinion or formed a different one, there was no room for discussion. Pride gripped them both which lead to a stand-off. Now it won't even let them agree to disagree.
Sometimes it is right to take sides. To be 'angry' about something. It is right to take the side against injustice; it is right to take the side against poverty; it is right to take the side against hunger and starvation. But is it right to take a side against someone over coaching techniques? Over whether someone's son or daughter gets more game time? Over who has the best equipment?
Perhaps we should save our 'anger' for the real issues in our society today rather than channel it into something so small and unimportant.
I once experienced something that serves as a reminder of how important it is to make sure I don't take sides in life. I witnessed a heated discussion between two parents at a sports match. In fact, it wasn't even at a match, but at training. They were talking about the techniques that were being used by the coaches.
One of the parents believed the coaching was really good, the other did not. This resulted in a heated discussion which eventually lead to them sitting in different places in the park and not really talking. They still don't talk very much and have now formed their own group of friends who agree with their opinion. They are angry and they have taken sides.
The kids are having a great time in training and in games whilst the parents argue over something. Why? How can something be of such gravitas that it causes two people who used to get on to argue? Pride. An opinion was formed and when someone else contradicted this opinion or formed a different one, there was no room for discussion. Pride gripped them both which lead to a stand-off. Now it won't even let them agree to disagree.
Sometimes it is right to take sides. To be 'angry' about something. It is right to take the side against injustice; it is right to take the side against poverty; it is right to take the side against hunger and starvation. But is it right to take a side against someone over coaching techniques? Over whether someone's son or daughter gets more game time? Over who has the best equipment?
Perhaps we should save our 'anger' for the real issues in our society today rather than channel it into something so small and unimportant.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Let My Words Be Few.... Well.... Fewer
Here is an interesting thing: How many of us have an opinion? How many of us like to have the last word? How many of us think we know it all? At some point in life, we have all strayed outside of our area of knowledge and talked about something we don't really know about.... just to impress.
I was considering what the phrase "let my words be few" meant. Did it mean 'don't talk'? Did it mean 'keep sentances short'?
My wife and I were watching an old episode of WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? the other evening. For those who have never heard of it, it was a very popular show in the 1990's and was anchored mainly around comedy improvisation. Very funny indeed.
They did a slot in the show where each person could only speak in a particular number of words, from one to four. The scene was a cowboy walking into a bar. As they struck up a conversation, we found ourselves laughing out loud for the whole duration.
When the slot finished, we were talking about how hard it must have been - to use only the amount of words alloted to each individual. It must have taken great effort to say as little as possible, i.e. only three words, whilst try to say everything that was on your mind. We were reflecting on the fact that we sometimes use so many words to try and say something or we use unnecessary words to impress, based on knowledge we don't really have.
Maybe I should try listening more and speaking less. Maybe I should only speak when I have something important to say, but say it with humility. Maybe it sometimes only takes a few words to put my feelings across rather than a speech. I think I will start trying.....
I was considering what the phrase "let my words be few" meant. Did it mean 'don't talk'? Did it mean 'keep sentances short'?
My wife and I were watching an old episode of WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? the other evening. For those who have never heard of it, it was a very popular show in the 1990's and was anchored mainly around comedy improvisation. Very funny indeed.
They did a slot in the show where each person could only speak in a particular number of words, from one to four. The scene was a cowboy walking into a bar. As they struck up a conversation, we found ourselves laughing out loud for the whole duration.
When the slot finished, we were talking about how hard it must have been - to use only the amount of words alloted to each individual. It must have taken great effort to say as little as possible, i.e. only three words, whilst try to say everything that was on your mind. We were reflecting on the fact that we sometimes use so many words to try and say something or we use unnecessary words to impress, based on knowledge we don't really have.
Maybe I should try listening more and speaking less. Maybe I should only speak when I have something important to say, but say it with humility. Maybe it sometimes only takes a few words to put my feelings across rather than a speech. I think I will start trying.....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Always Give And Never Take.....
Today is our wedding anniversary.
We have been married for fifteen years.
They have been fantastic.
My wife is a special women who deserves to be loved every single day. I am privileged to be married to my best friend. There is nothing we like better than chilling out on the sofa, sharing our thoughts over some good food and drink.
She is beautiful, clever, wise and a night owl!
As I look with great sadness at friends and other marriages that have struggled or broken up, I am deeply thankful that we are still very happily married. This leads me to ask the question "Why?". Is there some magical formula? Is there something we have done 'right' and some have done 'wrong'?
When I consider these questions, I remember the words my Dad spoke on our wedding day: "If both of you always give and never take, both of you will always have everything you will ever need". Wise words indeed from a very wise man. We have endeavoured to implement what my Dad said and I have to say, it works. It works really, really well.
It hasn't always been easy. We have had seasons where we have been taking and not giving, or circumstances have robbed us of the ability to 'give'. When we got married, 'two became one', but sometimes we have lived as 'two people married'. But every day, as best friends, we choose to give and not take as much as we can.
Whether you are considering marriage, newly-wed or been married for many years, I hope and pray that you can give more than you take, and as a result, you both have everything you ever need.
We have been married for fifteen years.
They have been fantastic.
My wife is a special women who deserves to be loved every single day. I am privileged to be married to my best friend. There is nothing we like better than chilling out on the sofa, sharing our thoughts over some good food and drink.
She is beautiful, clever, wise and a night owl!
As I look with great sadness at friends and other marriages that have struggled or broken up, I am deeply thankful that we are still very happily married. This leads me to ask the question "Why?". Is there some magical formula? Is there something we have done 'right' and some have done 'wrong'?
When I consider these questions, I remember the words my Dad spoke on our wedding day: "If both of you always give and never take, both of you will always have everything you will ever need". Wise words indeed from a very wise man. We have endeavoured to implement what my Dad said and I have to say, it works. It works really, really well.
It hasn't always been easy. We have had seasons where we have been taking and not giving, or circumstances have robbed us of the ability to 'give'. When we got married, 'two became one', but sometimes we have lived as 'two people married'. But every day, as best friends, we choose to give and not take as much as we can.
Whether you are considering marriage, newly-wed or been married for many years, I hope and pray that you can give more than you take, and as a result, you both have everything you ever need.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Getting The Foundations Right
In the road opposite where we live, there is a new house being built. It is going to be number 35. There has never been a number 35, just a gap where it was never built.
The bricks have started going up on top of the foundational structure and you can already see the shape of the house. It has all happened very quickly. Or has it?
The bricks seem to be going up fast, but if I think back to when the workmen moved in, it was about six weeks ago. It has taken all that time to prep the ground and get the foundations right.
Imagine if they had got half way through putting the bricks in place and found out there was a problem with the foundations.....
Good foundations are critical. Whether we are building a new house, starting a new job or mananging a project (which I sometimes do). Good foundations mean we have something solid to build on. It gives us confidence that the journey we are embarking on is built on something firm. How many of us - myself included - want to rush into projects and life without getting the foundations right first? This often means we have to go back to the beginning and 'start again' or we end up living in an unsound structure.
If something goes wrong with what we are building, the foundations can be underpinned, but the effort involved is exhausting. It's the same with our spiritual lives. If we build our lives on a solid foundation that is well thought out, it means our 'building' is strong. If we build our lives on a softer foundation, such as sand, we are prone to getting swept away or having to 'start again'.
Every day we have the opportunity to build good foundations or underpin the ones we didn't quite get right. When these opportunities come along, take them.
The bricks have started going up on top of the foundational structure and you can already see the shape of the house. It has all happened very quickly. Or has it?
The bricks seem to be going up fast, but if I think back to when the workmen moved in, it was about six weeks ago. It has taken all that time to prep the ground and get the foundations right.
Imagine if they had got half way through putting the bricks in place and found out there was a problem with the foundations.....
Good foundations are critical. Whether we are building a new house, starting a new job or mananging a project (which I sometimes do). Good foundations mean we have something solid to build on. It gives us confidence that the journey we are embarking on is built on something firm. How many of us - myself included - want to rush into projects and life without getting the foundations right first? This often means we have to go back to the beginning and 'start again' or we end up living in an unsound structure.
If something goes wrong with what we are building, the foundations can be underpinned, but the effort involved is exhausting. It's the same with our spiritual lives. If we build our lives on a solid foundation that is well thought out, it means our 'building' is strong. If we build our lives on a softer foundation, such as sand, we are prone to getting swept away or having to 'start again'.
Every day we have the opportunity to build good foundations or underpin the ones we didn't quite get right. When these opportunities come along, take them.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I Will Follow
I know, I know. I have managed to mention U2 at least three times in a week. I am not getting excited about seeing them in August.... honest!
As I was recently walking around the house, I was wondering what my dog's favourite song might be. After going through some of the classics - Who Let The Dogs Out, Puppy Love and You Ain't Nothing But A Hound Dog - I decided it was probably I Will Follow by U2. This is mainly because he spends most of his time following me around the house.
If I settle in a room to do something, he is there. If I go into the garden, he is there. If I sit in the lounge, he comes and sits with me. I imagine him humming the tune to himself as he trots around the house. Every now and then he gets distracted and runs away barking at some imaginary threat. He is a great guard dog.
It got me thinking about what it is that I follow. My Master is my Lord and Saviour, my Heavenly Father. Do I follow my Master from room to room? Do I ensure that if He leaves one room and goes to another, I follow? Am I always looking to him for my daily love, affection and food? Or, am I distracted by sights and sounds which lead me away from Him? I wonder how many imaginary enemies I have in my life which cause me to turn the other way and shout.
I hope and pray that I can continue to follow my Master and always look to Him to supply everything I need. Shouting and running around takes a lot of effort - following my Master and settling in the same room as Him is much, much easier.
As I was recently walking around the house, I was wondering what my dog's favourite song might be. After going through some of the classics - Who Let The Dogs Out, Puppy Love and You Ain't Nothing But A Hound Dog - I decided it was probably I Will Follow by U2. This is mainly because he spends most of his time following me around the house.
If I settle in a room to do something, he is there. If I go into the garden, he is there. If I sit in the lounge, he comes and sits with me. I imagine him humming the tune to himself as he trots around the house. Every now and then he gets distracted and runs away barking at some imaginary threat. He is a great guard dog.
It got me thinking about what it is that I follow. My Master is my Lord and Saviour, my Heavenly Father. Do I follow my Master from room to room? Do I ensure that if He leaves one room and goes to another, I follow? Am I always looking to him for my daily love, affection and food? Or, am I distracted by sights and sounds which lead me away from Him? I wonder how many imaginary enemies I have in my life which cause me to turn the other way and shout.
I hope and pray that I can continue to follow my Master and always look to Him to supply everything I need. Shouting and running around takes a lot of effort - following my Master and settling in the same room as Him is much, much easier.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Life MOT
One of our cars is in for it's MOT. In the UK it comes around once a year and has to be done. Basically, you can't drive a car without one... Or at least you shouldn't.
I was wondering if there are parallels between an MOT and our spiritual lives. Perhaps we should be checked over once a year to see if we are roadworthy or if we need some work doing. Someone needs to make sure we can safely journey through life on any road we travel. Do we have the correct emissions level? Are our tyres good enough to grip the road and negotiate the corners? Do we have a crack in our windscreen that stops us seeing the road properly? Do our indicators and other lights all function as they are supposed to?
I wonder if i should check myself in for an MOT? Am I still roadworthy or does my Father need to do some work on me? Am I saying the right things? Do I have a clear view of the road ahead? Am I communicating my movements and intentions effectively with those around me? Are my spiritual shoes wearing thin or are they still intact and comfortable to wear?
If you get the chance, let the Father check you over and work on you. You might fail the first test, but if you are willing to go back to the same garage to have the repairs done, the re-test is free.
You will be roadworthy again in no time.
p.s. the car passed.
I was wondering if there are parallels between an MOT and our spiritual lives. Perhaps we should be checked over once a year to see if we are roadworthy or if we need some work doing. Someone needs to make sure we can safely journey through life on any road we travel. Do we have the correct emissions level? Are our tyres good enough to grip the road and negotiate the corners? Do we have a crack in our windscreen that stops us seeing the road properly? Do our indicators and other lights all function as they are supposed to?
I wonder if i should check myself in for an MOT? Am I still roadworthy or does my Father need to do some work on me? Am I saying the right things? Do I have a clear view of the road ahead? Am I communicating my movements and intentions effectively with those around me? Are my spiritual shoes wearing thin or are they still intact and comfortable to wear?
If you get the chance, let the Father check you over and work on you. You might fail the first test, but if you are willing to go back to the same garage to have the repairs done, the re-test is free.
You will be roadworthy again in no time.
p.s. the car passed.
The Thin Places....
My two boys are trying out for ice hockey teams in the UK. There are not many of them as rinks as so few, so a place in a squad is fairly rare.
After the latest try-out the other night, my eldest wanted to chat. I was pinching myself as he spoke about 'making the right decision' and 'doing what is right for me at this time' and 'making sure I have all the facts'. Was this an 11-year-old or an articulate adult I was talking to?
I continued the conversation, asking him what was best for him.... what was the right choice. We ended with a big hug and decisions for him to make at some point in the coming weeks.
As I closed the door behind me, a great sense of pride and love rose up in me. Being a Dad is one of the best jobs in the world and these moments - the thin places as the Celts would call them - allow me to touch something of heaven on earth. They are the places where the distance between me and my heavenly Father is tangibly closed.
I am thankful for thin places and even more thankful that my son(s) is maturing into a wise and articulate young man. Long may it grow and may I be wise enough to nurture it in him whenever the opportunity arises.
After the latest try-out the other night, my eldest wanted to chat. I was pinching myself as he spoke about 'making the right decision' and 'doing what is right for me at this time' and 'making sure I have all the facts'. Was this an 11-year-old or an articulate adult I was talking to?
I continued the conversation, asking him what was best for him.... what was the right choice. We ended with a big hug and decisions for him to make at some point in the coming weeks.
As I closed the door behind me, a great sense of pride and love rose up in me. Being a Dad is one of the best jobs in the world and these moments - the thin places as the Celts would call them - allow me to touch something of heaven on earth. They are the places where the distance between me and my heavenly Father is tangibly closed.
I am thankful for thin places and even more thankful that my son(s) is maturing into a wise and articulate young man. Long may it grow and may I be wise enough to nurture it in him whenever the opportunity arises.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Sitting At The Window
It is a beautiful morning.
I am sitting in my wife's study today. She runs her own little business (doing pretty well considering it is her first venture) and her study window looks out over the garden. It is a great place to sit and it is the first time I have worked from her desk. I like to sit in different places to work - coffee shops, lounge, different office desks. Each place inspires me and makes me feel more creative.
Sitting here makes me think about how we can sit in the same place all of our lives (at the dinner table, at work, in the car, etc.) and never get a different view on life. Our positional experience of life can be 'monochrome' and one-dimensional when life is begging for us to live it in full colour and view it from every angle.
Every now and then, sit somewhere different. If you always drive the car, be a passenger for a journey. If you always sit in the same place at work, re-arrange your desk and view things differently. If you always sit in the same place for dinner, sit at a different place.
Get a different view on life and look at it from a different angle. It is amazing what you see when you do.
I am sitting in my wife's study today. She runs her own little business (doing pretty well considering it is her first venture) and her study window looks out over the garden. It is a great place to sit and it is the first time I have worked from her desk. I like to sit in different places to work - coffee shops, lounge, different office desks. Each place inspires me and makes me feel more creative.
Sitting here makes me think about how we can sit in the same place all of our lives (at the dinner table, at work, in the car, etc.) and never get a different view on life. Our positional experience of life can be 'monochrome' and one-dimensional when life is begging for us to live it in full colour and view it from every angle.
Every now and then, sit somewhere different. If you always drive the car, be a passenger for a journey. If you always sit in the same place at work, re-arrange your desk and view things differently. If you always sit in the same place for dinner, sit at a different place.
Get a different view on life and look at it from a different angle. It is amazing what you see when you do.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Today Is A New Day..... 31 Days Of Prosperity
This blog is a bit different. I recently emailed some friends and thought I should also include on here.
Today is a new day.
It is the first day of the month (well, it was) and that means a whole new month to be prosperous. As I was out walking the dog this morning, I felt lead to speak out the words '31 days of prosperity'. As I continued walking it became a prayer.
When I got home, I looked up Psalm 1 (one of my favourite verses in the Father's big book). The Message version reads as follows: "How well God must like you - you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College. Instead you thrill to God's Word, you chew on Scripture day and night. You're a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit every month, never dropping a leaf, always in blossom."
I started asking myself some questions: Do I hang out in 'sin saloon'? No, but I know I sin (do stuff against the Father and other people) but live by grace. Do I slink along 'dead-end' road? Absolutely not! Do I go to smart-mouth college? No, as I endeavour to make my words those of the Father, although I know I get that wrong sometimes and every now and then someone calls me a smart-alec. Do I thrill to God's word? Yes, but it is not always a 'thrilling' read (I am just being honest).
The past month is behind me and in that month was prosperous - I earned income and put my hand to other things and experienced prosperity. The new month has now started and as I seek to live my life 'right before God', I fully expect for this to be a prosperous month. I full expect to 'always be in blossom' and that I will 'bear fresh fruit'. I am a son and an heir and therefore I and my household can access all that the Father has for us.
I hope and pray that you experience '31 days of prosperity' (and beyond). That as you apply Psalm 1 to your life, you experience something totally new and fresh from the Father. That is my prayer and expectation for the month ahead.
Today is a new day.
It is the first day of the month (well, it was) and that means a whole new month to be prosperous. As I was out walking the dog this morning, I felt lead to speak out the words '31 days of prosperity'. As I continued walking it became a prayer.
When I got home, I looked up Psalm 1 (one of my favourite verses in the Father's big book). The Message version reads as follows: "How well God must like you - you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College. Instead you thrill to God's Word, you chew on Scripture day and night. You're a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit every month, never dropping a leaf, always in blossom."
I started asking myself some questions: Do I hang out in 'sin saloon'? No, but I know I sin (do stuff against the Father and other people) but live by grace. Do I slink along 'dead-end' road? Absolutely not! Do I go to smart-mouth college? No, as I endeavour to make my words those of the Father, although I know I get that wrong sometimes and every now and then someone calls me a smart-alec. Do I thrill to God's word? Yes, but it is not always a 'thrilling' read (I am just being honest).
The past month is behind me and in that month was prosperous - I earned income and put my hand to other things and experienced prosperity. The new month has now started and as I seek to live my life 'right before God', I fully expect for this to be a prosperous month. I full expect to 'always be in blossom' and that I will 'bear fresh fruit'. I am a son and an heir and therefore I and my household can access all that the Father has for us.
I hope and pray that you experience '31 days of prosperity' (and beyond). That as you apply Psalm 1 to your life, you experience something totally new and fresh from the Father. That is my prayer and expectation for the month ahead.
Choices, Choices Everywhere And Not A Drop....
I've recently been considering choices. My wife and I have spent a lot of time talking about what it means to make the right or wrong choice. What it means to make a choice that can affect your whole life or simply what you might eat and drink. We all have a free will and have the right to exercise it as we see fit.
We know several people going through big life-decisions. They made choices which lead them to the places they are now in. They exercised free will and it had a consequence, both good and bad depending on the choice made.
So, choices good and bad can lead you somewhere. Good choices take you to really great places in your life and make the journey you walk pleasant and exciting. Bad choices seem to come back and bite you at some point, and also seem to keep repeating themselves time after time.
I am in a place right now where I am having to make choices - to either speak positively or negatively; to always give or always take (or consume); to choose to get up each day and tell the world that it can't beat me down, or allow it to constantly push me to the floor and then kick me whilst I am down there; to be the best Daddy I can be or not bother to have any kind of friendship with my kids. Every single day, the choice is mine to make.
It isn't easy making the right choice. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it can take a while for the good fruit to show itself, but it always will in the end.
Choices exist every moment of every day.... we just need to consider before we make them and realise that we live with the consequences afterwards.
We know several people going through big life-decisions. They made choices which lead them to the places they are now in. They exercised free will and it had a consequence, both good and bad depending on the choice made.
So, choices good and bad can lead you somewhere. Good choices take you to really great places in your life and make the journey you walk pleasant and exciting. Bad choices seem to come back and bite you at some point, and also seem to keep repeating themselves time after time.
I am in a place right now where I am having to make choices - to either speak positively or negatively; to always give or always take (or consume); to choose to get up each day and tell the world that it can't beat me down, or allow it to constantly push me to the floor and then kick me whilst I am down there; to be the best Daddy I can be or not bother to have any kind of friendship with my kids. Every single day, the choice is mine to make.
It isn't easy making the right choice. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it can take a while for the good fruit to show itself, but it always will in the end.
Choices exist every moment of every day.... we just need to consider before we make them and realise that we live with the consequences afterwards.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Welcome To My World... A Little Introduction
I have been a keen Internet user for many, many years. In fact, I was working for a large US corp in the early 90's when someone shouted across the office, "Have you seen this new html coding thingy that lets you display formatted content on a screen". From there, I guess I was fascinated with how easy it was to take content that had lived in books and on paper for years and make it available to anyone who could access it.
Since that time, I have worked mainly in the Internet space, mainly around content and its importance. I have also managed various small- and medium-sized projects as well as provided consultancy services to a variety of organisations.
My wonderful best friend and wife is a rock in my life. Our faith, joined together as one the day she let me put a ring on her finger, has kept us laughing and crying for fifteen years. She gets more beautiful with age whilst I appear to be stuck in reverse. That's not fair! She is my muse, chatting with me long into the night as we unpack lifes purpose and questions along the journey.
I love being a Dad to my two wonderful boys as well as a Spiritual Dad to some other guys who have not had the kind of early Father I have had (he is still amazing after all these years and still gives great hugs). I get things wrong sometimes, but my kids always come back for more love, hugs and table-top-football (they beat me.... often).
I hope these thoughts and ideas help you on your life journey.
Since that time, I have worked mainly in the Internet space, mainly around content and its importance. I have also managed various small- and medium-sized projects as well as provided consultancy services to a variety of organisations.
My wonderful best friend and wife is a rock in my life. Our faith, joined together as one the day she let me put a ring on her finger, has kept us laughing and crying for fifteen years. She gets more beautiful with age whilst I appear to be stuck in reverse. That's not fair! She is my muse, chatting with me long into the night as we unpack lifes purpose and questions along the journey.
I love being a Dad to my two wonderful boys as well as a Spiritual Dad to some other guys who have not had the kind of early Father I have had (he is still amazing after all these years and still gives great hugs). I get things wrong sometimes, but my kids always come back for more love, hugs and table-top-football (they beat me.... often).
I hope these thoughts and ideas help you on your life journey.
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