Man Of The Match

Over the last weekend, both of our boys played hockey (ice) on different days in different towns. One of them won MOTM and one didn’t. Both worked equally hard and one probably worked a bit harder than the other one. Who do you think won MOTM?

Actually, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they did their best and that their Dad – that would be me – was hugely proud of them.

I have been reading book-snippets recently that have been through the eyes of grown men reflecting on the times their Dad came to see them play their favourite sport. All of them write about how they sometimes won awards, sometimes played badly, sometimes messed up and sometimes felt like the best player on the planet.

Each of them also writes about how their Dad was always there for them.

Always cheering them on.

Always the loudest.

Always proud.

Always.

What really struck me was how the love and pride of their Dad – no matter what the outcome - struck a deep, resonate chord with them in later life. MOTM awards come and go. Accolades come and go. Fitness, skill and desire come and go. The most important thing by far was the fact their Dad was ‘there’ for them. Maybe not always physically, but ever present.

The cheers from the previous match still echoed in the next game. The understated, humble congratulation after winning MOTM still ran deep. The hugs and tears and fish & chips after working really hard but losing still brought comfort and confidence. In later life, each and everyone one of those men valued the love and pride of their Dad far more than any award or outcome.

I want to be one of those Dads. I want to be the Dad that is always there, whether that be physically or in their hearts. In life, awards will come and go; accolades will come and go; challenges will come and go. They might win MOTM ten games in a row. What is important is that I am still proud of them when they don’t win it in the eleventh game.

When my sons are grown men, no matter what happens in life, the echoes of my love and pride will still be what they hear in the air.

Taking Sides....

If there is one thing I dislike in life... apart from bannans.... it is when people take sides. When people form a political view or opinion which means that they know better than other people. We all do it. I do it. But the question I have is this: are we concious we are doing it? Are we aware that any anger in us is rising up and taking hold of us?

I once experienced something that serves as a reminder of how important it is to make sure I don't take sides in life. I witnessed a heated discussion between two parents at a sports match. In fact, it wasn't even at a match, but at training. They were talking about the techniques that were being used by the coaches.

One of the parents believed the coaching was really good, the other did not. This resulted in a heated discussion which eventually lead to them sitting in different places in the park and not really talking. They still don't talk very much and have now formed their own group of friends who agree with their opinion. They are angry and they have taken sides.

The kids are having a great time in training and in games whilst the parents argue over something. Why? How can something be of such gravitas that it causes two people who used to get on to argue? Pride. An opinion was formed and when someone else contradicted this opinion or formed a different one, there was no room for discussion. Pride gripped them both which lead to a stand-off. Now it won't even let them agree to disagree.

Sometimes it is right to take sides. To be 'angry' about something. It is right to take the side against injustice; it is right to take the side against poverty; it is right to take the side against hunger and starvation. But is it right to take a side against someone over coaching techniques? Over whether someone's son or daughter gets more game time? Over who has the best equipment?

Perhaps we should save our 'anger' for the real issues in our society today rather than channel it into something so small and unimportant.