Learning To Let Go

As some of you will know, my two boys place hockey. Not of the field type, but on ice and on courts (roller). They love it and are doing really well at it.

Our eldest son started at secondary school this term and as part of that process, my wife and I needed to let go a little more. We needed to let him find his own way to school (once we had shown him how to get there, by the way). We needed to let him decide on his own after-school clubs. His own dinners. His own time-planning for being somewhere at the right time. All of it involved letting go just a little bit more.

I have recently been asked to sit in on a couple of meetings with his hockey coaches. He has one for ice, and one for roller. Both of the conversations were really encouraging. I was proud of what they had to say and of my son's response. But as I sat their in silence, I felt like I was letting go a little bit more.... again. As a Dad, I chat with my kids all of the time, particularly about things on their heart, and there he was talking to someone else about how he felt.

As the coaches inputted into him and gave him advice, I found myself thinking, "Hang on, I should be saying those things, not them". I then had to check myself (excuse the pun for any hockey friends). This was about letting go. This was about dropping my pride.

There are people now inputting him him who know far more about a given subject matter than I do. He is learning from them and applying what they say. Sometimes, I will see them chatting with him and giving him instructions which he then discusses with them and applies. When I ask him what was said, he just says "Nothing. It's not important".

And he's right.... it's not. Why is it important to me? I know a bit about hockey, but not as much as he does. What is important is that I let go. Slowly but surely, carefully and with sensitivity. But that doesn't mean I lose him. Far from it. It means I get a son in whom I am proud and with whom I am 'well pleased'.

If I let go I get something better back. I love him and will always be there for him (and my other son), but as he grows older and becomes his own man, I have to trust that he makes the right choices. I have to trust that he listens to his coaches, whether in sport or life, and applies what they have said.

I have to learn to let go.

Choices, Choices Everywhere And Not A Drop....

I've recently been considering choices. My wife and I have spent a lot of time talking about what it means to make the right or wrong choice. What it means to make a choice that can affect your whole life or simply what you might eat and drink. We all have a free will and have the right to exercise it as we see fit.

We know several people going through big life-decisions. They made choices which lead them to the places they are now in. They exercised free will and it had a consequence, both good and bad depending on the choice made.

So, choices good and bad can lead you somewhere. Good choices take you to really great places in your life and make the journey you walk pleasant and exciting. Bad choices seem to come back and bite you at some point, and also seem to keep repeating themselves time after time.

I am in a place right now where I am having to make choices - to either speak positively or negatively; to always give or always take (or consume); to choose to get up each day and tell the world that it can't beat me down, or allow it to constantly push me to the floor and then kick me whilst I am down there; to be the best Daddy I can be or not bother to have any kind of friendship with my kids. Every single day, the choice is mine to make.

It isn't easy making the right choice. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it can take a while for the good fruit to show itself, but it always will in the end.

Choices exist every moment of every day.... we just need to consider before we make them and realise that we live with the consequences afterwards.